In amongst the certificates and photographs documenting the family is two pages of hand-lined yellowing paper, covered in a careful script. My Nana gave it to my Father and I when I was 15 and first asked about my Grandfather (Walter Thomas Muffett, 9/4/1916-13/3/1958) and family history. She’d kept it for how much it represented his sense of humour, a trait that is certainly evident amongst his children and grandchildren.
I had twelve bottles of whiskey in my cellar, and my wife told me to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink or else — So I said I would, and proceeded with the unpleasant task,
I with withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I extracted the cork from the second bottle and did likewise, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle, and emptied the whiskey down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I pulled the cork from the fourth sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle and drank the glass. I pulled the next cork from my throat and poured the next sink down the bottle. The I corked the sink with the sink glass, bottled the drink and the pour;
When I had everything emptied I steadied the house with one hand and counted the bottles, corks, and glasses and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine. To be sure, I counted them again, and when they came by I had seventy-four, and as the house came by I counted them again, and finally had all the houses, and bottles and glasses and sinks counted, except one house and one bottle, which I drank.